AN OPEN LETTER TO WENDY HARAWA FROM AN EX-FENDELA FENDUZE FAN: MUYATSILE MUNI PETERSEN, MAMUNA SIYEKHAYOYI
I am a big fan of fendela fenduze, well I was until I read this story. I have been promotiing this song in dance places in New York Binghamton, since it was talk of town during my latest visit home this month and of course I really liked it.
Looking at Wendy’s picture really brings pain to my heart as there are few things that make as mad as violence against women, what some usually like to call gender based violence, for me, unless both people fight each other, it is VAW, violence against women and starting from now, I will decampaign this song (Fendela Fenduze) as much as I can. I was going to present a paper on popular culture and I had written something on it but now, that is all history, Petersen can be sure he has lost this fan. I will not support men who beat women, period.
I am sure Wendy saw the experience of Rihana at the hands of Brown. My advice to you is to get out of this relationship whilst you still can. Once a beater, always one and one day you might not escape with your life. When one looks at the last line, your self esteem has already taken a beating. I know that most people will say telling someone to leave their man is prescriptive and easier said than done. Yes, whilst that is true, what always surprises me is the fact that mothers in the village did not put up with such nonsense. I have interviewed my grandmother (ANangondo) so many times and she makes it clear that whenever a husband become an unbearable pest, amamuyatsila muni. Why is it harder for us 21st century women kuyatsila anthu muni? Is it the capitalism, religion or what? Well, whatever it is, I am also a fun of you Wendy and I wish you could respect yourself as a star in your own right. That picture of you with a blue eye objectifies and makes you a helpless person. You come from a continent of strong women who have agency. Please do not act helpless and say things like you do not know what to do. Of course you know what to do, you just do not have the courage to do it. Asakulemele fenduze yo, he is not worth your life, profession and reputation. Wipe your tears, stand up and be counted like your female ancestors whose strength shook the roots of colonialism and is fighting the AIDS pandemic – who is Petersen, the Fenduze boy as compared to the battles your female ancestors hav shown you how to battle.
Jessie Kabwila Kapasula
ex Fendela Fenduze fan